So why is it that we as a human race wait for something drastic to occur before we take action? Why are we so reactive in life and not proactive? If you are a proactive person then give yourself a pat on the back there aren't enough people like you in this world. *thumbs up*
So these days I'm becoming more and more proactive and not waiting for opportunities whether it be music, work or just general life, but I wasn't always this way, July 29th 2005 was one of those days.
Why do I remember the date? Well no, not because this event occurred on a this day but because it was my brothers birthday, Happy B'day bro, now go call 000 cause I'm having a heart attack.
I started my weight loss journey in 2006 so before Weight Watchers and gyming it out I was just a tafe student learning to become an IT technician, on this particular day I cooked my (at the time) favorite meal 2 minute noodles! Turns out it's not my favorite anymore because I can't stomach noodles.
About 15 minutes after eating these noodles I felt a tightness in my chest, I naturally freaked out and began hyperventilating and then sweating profusely, I went pale and felt like passing out.
While I was feeling this tightness in my chest I began walking around trying to stretch it out but nothing seemed to work, I scared myself into getting more sick and screamed to my brother for help, by the time I muttered out what was going on he was frantic, he didn't know what to do, he was so upset he was asking me what do I do? He threw a wet rag over my forehead and called mum at work asking her what to do, eventually the answer was call 000 ill come straight home.
Daniel then called 000 and told them what was happening, after he hung up he put his forehead against mine and told me I would be ok, he was shaking so much, crying and frightened, I didn't know what to do so I just grabbed his hand and apologies to him, told him I loved him and said sorry over and over again, then promised him I would do something about the weight.
I don't remember him saying anything else till mum came home.
By the time mum got home (which was about 10 minutes) I was feeling better, a few minutes later the paramedics and a mica crew turned up with a 3 lead ECG and checked my vitals, turns out my heart was not the cause of my condition, they offered to take me to hospital and I spent the night there. That reminds me... I have access to my own pcr at work, I know who the paramedics were I would like to personally thank them for what they did for me, they do such amazing work as do the nurses, SES, fire fighters, police, army and anybody that assists the community, you are the proactive people in this world and I am great full for what you all do for us.
Turns out I was discharged with acid reflux, this is when the acid from your stomach climbs up your esophagus and burns you which I'm assuming causes your muscles to tense up or cramp around the area, just like heart burn but worse. I believe they call excessive episodes of this GERD and coincidentally the latest fix for this problem is a gastric bypass because as mentioned in previous blogs your stomach containing your acids are no longer connected to your esophagus thus it's impossible for anyone with the operation to get reflux, heartburn or GERD that doesn't stop anxiety rearing it's ugly head around the corner from time to time however.
That following day I spoke to my brother about what had happened and I said to him that this was the last straw I needed to lose the weight, I couldn't put anybody in that position again, he just looked at me and said "Give it 2 weeks you will forget this happened", I was reluctant to believe him, "when you are ready to lose weight you will lose it, till then just be mindful of those of us who love you, we don't want to see you go through this again and we don't want to experience it again".
A few weeks later I was back to my normal routine and had forgotten about what had happened, well I hadn't quite forgotten it just pushed it back into my mind.
So we fast forward to today, Daniel is proud of what I have accomplished, each time I go to the gym he's always telling me I don't need to go, he says I look fantastic and don't need to improve myself anymore than I already have, he is ecstatic that I now have a life to live and can finally go and live it, so I started with America October 2011, but that story comes later :)
This journey is far from over, physically I have healed from my pain, mentally though not so much and bringing up memories such as this breaks my heart to think about it let alone remembering as much detail as possible to write down, it hurts so much my shirt is covered in tears now, perhaps I should clean myself up and get ready for bed, another big day at work tomorrow.
For what it's worth Daniel, you may not have always been there for me when I was younger, you are my big brother but you never did hold my hand growing up, but when I needed you the most ... you were there for me from the very depths of my heart, that place where no words can every express my gratitude, sometimes the only proper words to say are Thank You and I love you.
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